(Beautiful flowers from my in-laws)
On Monday of this week, just three little days ago, I went to the perinatologist for my (now routine) weekly exam to make sure things are still going well, bed rest is helping, and so on. One thing I should have learned by now in this pregnancy, though, is that thinking anything is going to be routine never goes as planned.
And so, two hours later, I’m in the car with my mom on the way to the hospital.
Bed rest had helped the week before; things were going well. Now, though, things had changed too much, and the doctor wanted me in the hospital, on meds and being monitored. (But all that’s for another day!)
What I’ve been thinking a lot about through all this is what my mom calls “the new normal”. This pregnancy has been full of “new normals”. At the beginning, being pregnant at all was our “normal”. Then having twins. Then many little twists an turns, several weekends of modified bedrest, “taking it easy”, more doctor appointments, strict bedrest at home, being admitted to the hospital for a week, and now, our most recent normal is being in the hospital for… an undetermined length of time.
Life is like this in general, though, isn’t it? We think we have a handle on things- we can manage!- as long as God doesn’t go changing anything. But then God changes something. Why does He always have to change things? Doesn’t He know I’m comfortable here? That I just got used to this? That I was handling things JUST FINE until He had to go messing things up?
But it’s been made very (VERY) clear to me recently that this is exactly why God changes things: because we decide that, no, really, we can do it on our own from here. We begin to feel self-sufficient and in-control. We start to believe, though we would never say it out loud, that we don’t really need God.
And so, God changes things. With each “new normal” He hands us in our lives, he reminds us that He is sovereign and we are most certainly NOT. And whether we can see it or not (and we so very rarely can!) His plan is perfect, and is the very best thing for us. We are so limited by our finite-ness. So as we continue through this journey and encounter all of the “new normals” that will inevitably come, I pray that we remember that these changes aren’t because God is harsh or petty or reckless, but because He loves us and desires our growth and sanctification: sometimes gently, sometimes quickly and painfully.
A parting thought from 2 Corinthians 12:
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (NIV)